said (mennonite) louise

it's stinging nettle season, said
louise, makes excellent soup,
i replied, but you'll need rubber
gloves for picking, no,
said louise, i wear ordinary
garden gloves, pick the nettle
low on the stem —

[Recipe for martyrs mirror soup
1 tsp flame of heretic's pyre
1/2 cp tongue screws
1 cp spikes of iron maiden
1/4 cp cord of drowning sack
2 tbsp chastisement of elder
2 cp bitter tears of penance
3-4 tbsp shunning, to taste
0 tsp alcohol, tobacco, dance
2 cp moralizing, whipped until rigid
generous dash of humility
1 lifetime guilt, for preservative
Combine all ingredients and beat well.
Heat with sulphur until the pain justifies existence.
Cover and allow to ferment in vale of tears.
Dish will be ready on judgement day.]
      — and anyway, said
(mennonite) louise, it must be
good for me because it hurts.

© Robert Martens